It has been two years since I got a message from my mom telling me that daddy had a stroke. All morning I have been going back to what I was doing that day, as i’m sure a lot of my family is. Everything that was important then just seems so silly now. I try not to think about it too often because honestly I haven’t ever come to grips with what has happened and never let myself really grieve. I tried to be the strong one that held it all together. Being an only child I felt this a lot more as I felt it was my job to look after mom and dad in the rough times that followed. I also chose to display a status on FB everyday for those of the family that were so far away. It was amazing the amount of love that we felt from all over within hours and I still feel it all today.
My poor dad has had a really rough two years. He was such an independent man and now has to rely on my mom/caregivers to do things for him. He hasn’t had an easy day since everything happened and just over a year ago him and my mom had to move back to Ireland. The great thing is that they are getting good care and don’t have to worry about cost. They also have other support that they wouldn’t have had here so I can breath a sigh of relief knowing they are taken care off. I must say that I thought I would feel a lot more alone here but with having such a wonderful group of friends and family I don’t feel a huge void. Obviously no one will take the place of your parents esp me being such a daddy’s girl. This is when I wish I was rich because I just don’t have the funds to take the entire family over to visit as much as I want. I hope that this doesn’t make people think that I don’t care but honestly if they do think that then I choose not to be part of their lives.
I wish I could go back in time and warn him better, I go over a conversation I had with him a few days before all the time and kick myself, but I also have learned how to appreciate life so much more since it all happened. It’s a sad truth that it takes something so drastic to happen in order for us to look at what we really have.
So today I am doing my best not to get down, I am enjoying time with my kiddos and I am cleaning the house for J’s christening tomorrow morning.
For those who read this please take a second to think about all the wonderful things in your life. Choose to wake up in the morning and focus on the positive and vow that you will do everything you can to make it a good day.
Thank you again to all who have helped me get through the last few years and will continue to help. I love you all very much. XO