I’m 32 and I was told yesterday that I need to go on permanent disability and I shouldn’t work again.
Yes you read that right. I had an appt with my neurologist, one of the nicest men I know, yesterday afternoon. Adam came with me and our cousins Eric and Shelby watched the kids. I have been experiencing pain worse than before I had my back surgery. It shoots down my leg and burns. I wake up screaming in the middle of the night or if I move the wrong way I scream.
Dr. Hughes did a few tests on my leg and let me know that my right leg is significantly weaker than my left. He asked me to walk… Yes, that is now different as well. Are you kidding me!! My WALK is different. He said that it seems as though my S1 is damaged from the years of wear on my back. It has caused other issues as well that, well I shouldn’t have to worry about at my age.
Then he said it. The bombshell. “Tracy I think you are the perfect candidate for disability. Your pain is more than a year old and it has been considered chronic pain for a while now.” I’m not going to lie. I had thought about it before but I didn’t think it was an option and I honestly didn’t think I deserved it. Now the thought of not being able to work is a bit daunting. I have never been the type to not work. I love staying home with the kids and I enjoy staying in my pj’s most days but this is also the hardest job I have ever had.
So now I’m going to start looking up what paperwork I need to start filling out to start the long process. I’m not looking forward to it but at least it’s an option. It’s not where I thought I would be at this point but I still have it pretty good. Take one look at my husband, kids and family. I have amazing friends that support me and I have pain killers that I take daily 😉 (kidding)
I have a great online support group of friends that have a few ideas for me to try. I will give them a whirl and hopefully they will ease the pain a bit. Until then I have an MRI next week to see if things have gotten worse and then we will go from there.
Do you have any suggestions for me or questions about my surgery feel free to shoot me a comment.