I like who I am on the inside. I struggle with who I am on the outside. I think everyone does even if its just a little bit. I have been working on liking myself for a long time. I am slowly coming around to the point that I am buying clothes instead of “waiting until I get skinny. ”
Not too long ago I started Shakeology. It’s a meal replacement shake that is full of vitamins that you need for the day. It tasted good and you can add what you want to ensure you will get a different shake everyday. I am NOT going to preach to you, I used to hate when people did that but, I must tell you…it makes me feel better. I have been slacking the last week but am going to get back on track tomorrow morning. And I will, I will because this is the first time in my life that I have felt accountable. You don’t understand how good it feels to feel guilty. To think about what goes in your mouth because I know that my mind is starting to think about things differently.
I never had a problem with over eating. In fact people couldn’t believe how little I ate. My story started a long time ago when I was young. I used to eat EVERYTHING in site and I was 92 lbs. I would gain a few pounds and go on some “diet” of eating just a few crackers a day until I got back down but, generally I never gained anything. Then I got sick and after years of testing I found out I had a thyroid condition. It was bad, killing me bad. I started my medication and a few months and 86lbs later I was getting my numbers under control. Here I am 10+ years later still trying to get my numbers under control and trying to take off those pounds that I put on so so long ago.
You are most likely asking why I am sharing this well, it’s to hold myself more accountable. I always make the fat jokes about myself so no one else will do it first, I always wonder if someone is staring at me if I order something unhealthy. It has to stop. No one is doing that and frankly if they are screw ’em. They aren’t my friend and are insecure about themselves.
I have a new lovely group of friends that goes to the gym. I am going to be joining next week and I am looking forward to going. I have a lot of back issues so I have to be careful but I will do it. I know I can. I will drink my shake, do my workouts and walk with the kids and Mr A.
I will love my inside, my outside and dammit I will wear a bathing suit and feel good about it !
**if you are interested in Shakeology let me know. I am a coach and can get you samples or help you order it!