I like my insides and my outsides….well? Maybe

I like who I am on the inside. I struggle with who I am on the outside. I think everyone does even if its just a little bit. I have been working on liking myself for a long time. I am slowly coming around to the point that I am buying clothes instead of “waiting until I get skinny. ”

Not too long ago I started Shakeology. It’s a meal replacement shake that is full of vitamins that you need for the day. It tasted good and you can add what you want to ensure you will get a different shake everyday. I am NOT going to preach to you, I used to hate when people did that but, I must tell you…it makes me feel better. I have been slacking the last week but am going to get back on track tomorrow morning. And I will, I will because this is the first time in my life that I have felt accountable. You don’t understand how good it feels to feel guilty. To think about what goes in your mouth because I know that my mind is starting to think about things differently.

I never had a problem with over eating. In fact people couldn’t believe how little I ate. My story started a long time ago when I was young. I used to eat EVERYTHING in site and I was 92 lbs. I would gain a few pounds and go on some “diet” of eating just a few crackers a day until I got back down but, generally I never gained anything. Then I got sick and after years of testing I found out I had a thyroid condition. It was bad, killing me bad. I started my medication and a few months and 86lbs later I was getting my numbers under control. Here I am 10+ years later still trying to get my numbers under control and trying to take off those pounds that I put on so so long ago.

You are most likely asking why I am sharing this well, it’s to hold myself more accountable. I always make the fat jokes about myself so no one else will do it first, I always wonder if someone is staring at me if I order something unhealthy. It has to stop. No one is doing that and frankly if they are screw ’em. They aren’t my friend and are insecure about themselves.

I have a new lovely group of friends that goes to the gym. I am going to be joining next week and I am looking forward to going. I have a lot of back issues so I have to be careful but I will do it. I know I can. I will drink my shake, do my workouts and walk with the kids and Mr A.

I will love my inside, my outside and dammit I will wear a bathing suit and feel good about it !


**if you are interested in Shakeology let me know. I am a coach and can get you samples or help you order it!

5 responses to “I like my insides and my outsides….well? Maybe

  1. Hopefully the weather will hold off so we can see each other tomorrow (finally!!) and discuss this! I am so interested.

  2. Your first paragraph made me think that you were in the middle of an emotional crisis just like me. Hormones (cue sad music). Sometimes we are our harshest critics, but we are also human and can always stand room for improvement. I think you’re beautiful on the outside and the inside. (well, I’ve only seen your outside……but maybe we can take some X-rays and I can meet your insides???)

    • Haha I have a copy of my MRI’s. interested? If you are in crisis I am always here. To be honest I ALWAYS wanted to be like you. Gorgeous, smart , amazing clothes and shoes. Don’t get me started on the shoes lol. Love you

  3. I have two friends who have both traveled your road and are doing the shake and love it. The gym has helped also. Following my gallbladder surgery I went the other way and have continued to loose more than I should have now am trying to gain. Either end of the scale is not easy. I am praying for your struggle that you will succeed.

    • You are so right. People look at skinny people and think they have it all when in fact they might be struggling just as much xx. Thanks for all hour kind words always.

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