To all the moms out there…

I am struggling a little with teaching L. She is almost 3.5 and is SO intelligent (I mean it) but, she refuses to take more than 10 minutes with me when I try to teach her. I previously stated how shy she seems to be in school. She doesn’t like to color properly, she doesn’t like to answer questions, and she pretends that she doesn’t know the answers.
Here is the thing…she knows all the answers but she gets super shy in class. She always looks down so they won’t pick her to answer questions.

Once she comes home for school L doesn’t want to do schoolwork. I can understand that so I try to make it seem fun. We have been practicing reading her ABC’s but after 10 minutes she is bored. I let her do them on the iPad but again she gets bored.
On non-school days I can get about 30 minutes out of her but, then she again is done and doesn’t even pay attention.

Here is my question : I need to know how you all do it! I need help with getting her motivated and involved. I have a friend that has a daughter in L’s class and she is reading!! Reading!! I am SUPER proud of her and she happens to be one of the cutest little things alive but, part of me wants L to do it as well.
I know that doesn’t sound very gracious but I’m being honest. And if I’m not being honest then whats the point of writing a blog ….correct?

I have been debating sending this post for a few days now and since then I have been practicing just A,B,C with L. She still isn’t getting it. Well lets think about that…she gets it. When she wants too. She can pick out the letters no problem but literally after I ask her to do it more than once she is done. Doesn’t pay attention and gets mad.

I really need help. I am NOT expecting her to write a book here and I know she is only 3.5 but this kids potential is through the roof and I want her to succeed in the things I know she can do. This is one of those things.

IMG_3854She takes my breath away. I am so in love with her 🙂

21 responses to “To all the moms out there…

  1. 10 minutes for someone her age is perfectly normal Tracey. Make a small sticker chart and give her a sticker for every task done. Once she fills the chart she gets a treat ! Make it fun !! Not many 3.5 year old can sit for an hour at a time…its just not age appropriate. I’m a teacher …I’ve taught preschool, 1st grade and special ed. Im actually certified to be a principal as well. If you have any questions just ask me !

      • Yup so easy and seriously think about doing tokens as she gets older. My boyfriend teaches high school and even the high school kids trade the tokens in for stuff. Dollar store prizes go along way with that age group ! Or let her work longer for something bigger !

  2. With my grand daughter at that age we set everything to funny songs just sang it all the time whether it was numbers, the alphabet or colors or her phone number or address…we practiced in the car, on the potty and at snacks since mom did not allow singing at the table. It became fun and she would start as soon as she got up in the morning. ABC’s to Yoga the video is what got us started. It was 26 positions of yoga set to music. That is what we did right after nap time. She still has time…not even near five yet so don’t panic.

  3. Right now she is just soaking it all in…I know how smart she is, pre school is more social time than learning don’t even try to make her sit and learn. lots of songs out there that just “happen” to be on in the background she’s a little sponge.. and the cutest little sponge ever. If she’s not starting to get it by 5 then worry.

  4. I’m no mother but I have nannied and did study education. Lol. It takes time and patience. Set boundaries. Don’t let her watch tv or something until she does her work. Same with on the weekends. Set aside a time every weekend where you do work on stuff and she can’t move on until she has worked.

  5. Try not to compare L with those in her class. She will excel over some and be behind others, it will be this way her entire school career. As a mom, it is terribly hard to not say “why can’t you be like so and so? She is done in 10 minutes and your still struggling”. That being said, it is frustrating when you know they are capable of so much more and you feel like they aren’t meeting certain goals. She is fine. She is perfectly normal for her age. I agree with the rewarding, study for 15 minutes, get a sticker, 10 stickers gets a reward. Little Man has always had a very set routine for homework, he gets off the bus, we discuss his day as I go thru his book bag and then we sit down to do homework. If we are getting frustrated, we stop and move onto another subject and work our way back to the problem. Test days, we go over the subject the morning of to keep it fresh in his head. The routine has worked for us for 4 years and he understands, homework before TV or games. Every night, he reads in bed for 15 or so minutes. It started with us reading together in kindergarten, then him reading to me and now he reads because he enjoys it. Let L know what the family expectations are for school and grades, explain what she has to do to meet those goals and if she isn’t meeting them, then work with her to reach them. Little Man gets very upset when he does poorly on a test, but we discuss what was wrong, why we think he didn’t do well and what we can do to prevent it from happening again. No yelling, no blaming, just a deep breath and “ok, we will do better next time”. We only have 2-3 bad tests a year (below 70 score) and I understand that while he is smart and capable, we all have bad test days.

    As for the shyness, I was so very worried about Little Man starting school and interacting with other kids. I sat one day and watched how he interacted when he didn’t know I was there and was shocked (Shocked!) that he was so open, outgoing and social. L will blossom and a teacher who recognizes her shyness will work with her and help her open up. Trust the job your doing as a parent and trust those teachers, they have seen so much and know a lot of little tricks to help with shyness.

    Trust yourself hon, I know it is difficult, I worry all the time too! But, I know that I am laying a good foundation and I know you are too. Parenting is tough! Go to the book store and look at all those books people wrote about it LOL and each of them will have a different approach. You know your kids and what they are capable of, you know how to motivate them and discipline them better than anyone. Trust yourself and even when you don’t, L doesn’t have to know it!

  6. Love what Kelly K has said above. I used the be the SOOO shy when I was little, I could hardly do anything. Dont worry. It will happen at the right speed for her. Just keep being an awesome creative mumsy! 😀

  7. Since you know she only goes for 10 minute blocks, plan her work accordingly. I’ve found that five 10 minute sessions with Riley (spread out through the night) work way better than trying to “finish” each task before we leave the table. Also, remember, she is far from the age where learning is its own reward; she needs to know there will be some “bonus” that she actually WANTS at the end of each practice session. As far as participating in school, that one just comes with time, and comfort around her peers. She’s still very little (although she seems huge to you, I know) and she will grow into it. 🙂

    • I know. You are totally right. I should break it up and make it worthwhile. Aka the sticker chart a few other people mentioned but tomorrow I am going to brainstorm about new ways to do things. Fun ways
      Love you xx

  8. at 3.5 – 10 minutes is really good…if you try to push her any further T…..she will rebel and go in the opposite direction. Here they dont like you teaching your child – they like to do it in school. At 3.5 L…..has to enjoy her ‘learning’ and it should be done through play, so as not to make it to formal and boring. ….. Have you tried stickers for colours, and magnetic letters for words! ….You are doing a great job, and dont beat yourself up……you all have a whole life ahead of you, plenty to see, plenty to do, and plenty to learn, with so much time to share ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

    • Lol I know. Plenty to do! Less stress is always good. It’s only learning to identity her ABC’s and write them. I do need to make it fun and take a step back.
      I’m so overwhelmed at the amazing response to this. Thank you xx

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