I recently found out that one of my favorite couples are having a baby! I was so thrilled when I heard the news. They are amazing people and the first of our friends to have a baby. It got me thinking of all the advice I wish I could give her but, didn’t want to overload or overstep.
So what better way to share it than to blog it so other moms may benefit too!
These are things I was told or learned the hard way:
It is always okay to ask for your baby back. What do I mean by that? When I had my first, my daughter L, people wanted to hold her the second they saw her. Of course they did right!? Well I had a touch of post pardum but, in the sense that I was super attached. I never asked if I could hold her so hours would go by when other people would. I would end up sobbing in my room for hours and it didn’t feel good. If you want your baby just ask for him/her back. It’s ok.
You WILL cry. At everything for a few weeks possibly longer. All those extra hormones that grew your perfect bundle are slowly working their way out. I’m convinced the only way they can come out is in tears. Embrace it or you will feel like there is something wrong like I did. That being said if you have negative or overwhelming thoughts please talk to someone.
If you are planning on nursing then HORRAY! I believe everyone should at least try it. A tip however would be to use a bottle once a day to feed your baby. Preferably have someone else feed her. If you are nursing then pump and use that milk. This will ensure that once you no longer want or can nurse that your baby is already used to a bottle. If not used within the first few months they may not ever want to use one. That will make things very hard. Nursing completely on your own is tough. You can’t be without them for too long unless you pump but if they won’t take a bottle what good is the milk. Also if someone else feeds them the bottle they won’t get used to only you which is always harder on dad. 😦
If you make it 6 weeks with nursing and can’t do it anymore that’s okay. That is the most important time for them to get your nutrients into their bodies. Also, if you are tired, sore etc… It’s okay to feed them formula every once in a while. I felt super guilty about this one. I made myself sick over it because I felt like I was getting judged. Don’t worry about anyone except you and your little one.
Buy nursing pads and wear them! The first time you “let down” in public you will thank me.
Nap when they do. I didn’t do this, I did housework or Laundry. I then was exhausted later and couldn’t keep my eyes open. It will all be there later. Take the time out and sleep. You do deserve it.
If you are going to cosleep that’s great. If you don’t plan on doing it every night then put them in their bassinet at least when they first go to bed. This way they will be used to it.
Along the same lines as above. If they are using a bassinet in your room. Put them down for naps in their crib. It will be an easier transition when they permanently get moved in there.
Ask for help. Just open your mouth and ask.
If you cook then cook yourself some dinners and freeze them. This way when the baby comes you can just throw them in the oven
Get a monitor that you can view and listen on. It puts your mind more at ease if you can see them.
DO NOT hesitate to tell sick people to leave right from your front door. If they are stupid enough to come over then they deserve to be told to leave.
Keep a binky in every room. Lol. This way you can always find them. I also kept a pile in the crib. I still do and J is 14 months. He throws them out but he will always keep at least one.
Phew this is getting long! Are you still with me? If so feel free to get a snack or a drink. I will wait.
*twiddles thumbs* back? Ok good
Let them cry. It doesn’t have to be for long but they need to learn how to self soothe.
Don’t get into bad habits. Don’t always rock them to sleep, just put them in bed. Don’t continuously bounce them. They will come to expect this ALL the time and will scream until you do it again. It’s obviously ok once in a while but don’t make it a habit.
If they are crying and you have done everything it’s most likely gas. Best way to get rid of it. Lie them on their back. Lift both their knees up to their chest and push their knees into their chest gently. I loved doing this haha. If you can’t picture it just YouTube it.
Don’t put cereal in their bottle. It chunks up the nipple and sometimes they will get a big chunk causing them to possibly choke. They can start being spoon fed surprisingly early
Go with your gut on food. J ate a lot! Still does, so he started eating solids earlier than the norm. You obviously want to give them puréed stuff but try it if you think they can handle it
Purée your own food. Fruits veggies etc… Don’t purée carrots unless organic bc they have too much of a certain vitamin and are actually bad for babies. Spinach as well. But baby food is fine. They refine it.
Take time for yourself. A long shower,bath whatever. Just make sure you keep your own identity. You are important as you. Not just as a wife/partner and mom.
Try not to wish they grow up because they will very fast. If they are sleeping on you and there are things to do just relax and take in the moment. Smell them , hug them , turn on a good show and enjoy. Trust me…they start walking and relaxing goes out the window.
If they have crazy gas and you are nursing it may be what you ate the day before. Spicy stuff does it but they may not be able to tolerate dairy or certain meat. If you notice a trend keep a food journal.
You will be extra hungry. Eat! It’s fine. It will all come off in time but when you nurse you need extra calories. Hey if the doctor tells you to eat more why say no.
I have a few more but I feel I rambled and I fear you all may not make it through. Lol. I can always do a second one including more about older kids if requested.
Please please ask if you have questions or fears. I will answer anything. Xx
Good luck and above all else love them, enjoy them and cuddle them everyday for the rest of their lives.
One of my new favorite quotes is “No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you’re the only one who knows the sound of my heart from the inside.”