Keepin it real…

Hello my loyal fans readers. I must say that I have loved getting the emails in regards to having some new subscribers the past few weeks. This blogging thing originally started out small and despite taking quite a while, I am getting some nice numbers 🙂
This is all thanks to those who find my ramblings interesting. I know I suck at punctuation, run on sentences are part of my every day and I write exactly how I speak, BUT I have been told many times that this is the reason why people read what I write.

So here are a few little updates in my life thus far. I recently spoke of me not feeling well and just chalking it up to either my back pain or my Thyroid condition. Well, after months of blood tests and doctors visit, I have a new diagnosis. It has been confirmed {as much as you can confirm a disease that has no actual test to confirm it} that I have Fibromyalgia.
If you are wondering what it is, well it sucks. It is a disease that seems to be based around pain and suffering LOL. No seriously, it is. The good thing is, I have a diagnosis. I am happy that I can put on a little sticker that says “hello, my name is Tracy and I have Fibromyalgia.” That is if we all walked around the world wearing said stickers. Mine would be a lot longer than that, I guess it would be “Hello my name is Tracy, I have Degenerative Disk Disease, Depression, PTSD, Throyidism and Fibromyalgia Oh and most day’s i’m pretty bitchy too.” I would add one of those obnoxious yellow faced smiley face stickers onto the end of it too just so people would be confused into thinking that I was a sarcastic bitch haha.
Well here is the thing, what are we going to do… sit around my house in the dark with tears streaming down my face? Sure there are some days I lock {lock means close the door slightly so I can be interrupted 15 times by two of my favorite little people} myself in the bathroom to have a quick cry, but most days I SIU – suck it up.
I am not SuperWoman, or SuperMom, but my kids think I am 🙂
I stick on a happy face because if you do you will inevitably smile for real. Also you don’t know what is going on in other people’s houses. You don’t know if your best friend is battling Cancer, or if their mother is sick, or if they are in a relationship that they don’t want to be in. The only thing you can do as a person is ask “are you okay?” There are a few people in the world that you can actually answer that question honestly, but most of the time you just say “yup, doing good. Thank you for asking” You have those people that will ask you “How are you REALLY doing today?” and those are the friends that you can vent too and explain whats going on.
It is okay to do that, we as moms are supposed to decompress every once in a while and tell someone how we are feeling. If its the kids, a disease, or a husband we all need to vent about something sometime. It makes us better people. What we need to do though is think about all the positive things that go on in our every day. I don’t mean children, or a good marriage. While those are good they are sometimes thrown around like “I love you”. We do mean them, but if overused they tend to not work as well as they, in theory, should. I mean things like your kid eating all of their dinner without a fight. Your daughter slept the night in her own bed, or your son said a word that you have been practicing for a while with them. The things that happen in our everyday. There has to be something. If you can’t find anything then, honestly, you should talk to someone because it just takes a shift in how you think. We all get down and if I think long enough I go into a bad tailspin and have a full blown anxiety attack. It could happen at any minute of the day or night, so I just don’t think about those things. I push them as far down as I can…. and there we have the PTSD. Fun Fun.

So I am going to wear my new diagnosis with pride. I will try to find out more, possibly start doing work for a group that walks, or does some type of charity work for Fibromyalgia since it is now my new normal, but I will not let it get me down for too long because then it wins. I want to win, I want to be my own hero 🙂 I want to be my kids hero.
I’m sure in another few months/years there will be something else that pops up to try and throw me off my course, but I will do my best to stay strong and deal with it when it comes.

To all the other sufferers out there I am in no way saying this is a picnic. I am not trying to throw my good attitude in your face because I am struggling. I am in a lot of pain, and at the minute I don’t see a road out of it. I am asking for your help to help me stay positive. Send me a picture or some inspirational quotes that I can look at or read. If you have Fibromyalgia please share your story with me and/or your treatments as I am beginning my first treatment this week and I know it’s a long road to find something that works.

And most of all thank you for following along with all of my journey’s good and bad.
On a positive note, next week the AMAZING Kim over at 733 blog has been kind enough to do a guest post on my site! She is my first guest post and I don’t know if I could think of someone that is more inspirational than her. She is one of my top 5 favorite bloggers of all time. I will be scheduling her post for early next week so look out for it, but in the mean time check out her blog! I would devote a few hours to it because you won’t be able to tear yourself away 🙂

Find positivity in the everyday things.

XX
Tracy

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