Things have shifted in my world lately. Lana seems to have a real strong connection to God. She talks to him, she asks questions about him and let’s me know how much she loves him.
I have always encouraged her relationship and let her know that he is always someone she can count on, but lately I have been thinking quite a lot.
Faith- something you believe in that is beyond explanation. (My definition)
I have always said prayers, talked to God, believed that there is a heaven after we pass and we are all welcome. I just didn’t really go beyond that.
A week or so ago I decided that I was going to step it up. I downloaded a bible app (yes there is an app for that), I have been reading the daily verse each day taking time to reflect on what it means to me. I also have been reading more and then a bit more. A lot of it honestly goes right over my head. I get the gist of it and am trying harder to understand.
I need more faith, I need to feel it in my heart. I’m not quite reading to go to church yet, which I know some people won’t agree with, but baby steps right?
I do feel better. I feel like I’m connected to something bigger. It helps me feel more connected to those I have lost as well. I will always take that anyday!!
I really want to be a better person, better mother, wife, human being. I have changed things in our house over the last three or four weeks. L and I had a huge long, mature, conversation. Ever since there has been so much less yelling on my part. Much more patience and since I have started to cut myself a break things are getting better. If I don’t have the energy then I don’t do it, but I have been finding out that I have had the energy to actually do more. So yes good all around.
Thanks for listening to me rant